What to do?

Zoe has been such a joy and such a challenge for me here in Mexico. She has done great with all of the changes and new boundaries, but every day brings the same question, "what are we going to do all day?" Jed works most of the day and there is not much for me and Zoe to do here in Ajijic by ourselves, which has been really hard for us - especially me. I'm so used to being busy and keeping Zoe busy all day, and having to do the same few things over and over is hard!



Today the missionaries stopped by and Zoe got so excited that she ran laps around the room while they were here. We miss our friends, we miss our stuff, and we miss the city.

Most of the people we told about this trip assumed we are taking an extended vacation. I can promise that this not a vacation. It's actually been very hard for me. I have decent and bad days. Mostly I feel pretty helpless here. Overall it's been an enlightening experience, but right now I'd like to vacation in Chicago. :) Althought I've had a handful of great experiences, I'm pretty sure I won't ever move to Ajijic. Maybe I will live somewhere else in Mexico, but I will a) never do it with a toddler, and b) take Spanish lessons and stay long enough to become fluent. Living somewhere when you can't speak the language is just stupid. I'm starting to mess up when I speak English, and my head is swimming with Spanish words that I've heard so many times, but I can't remember what they mean!

Another thing that is hard for me is feeling safe. I'm a bit confused about the what the situation is here in Ajijic, which doesn't help my insecurity. Most people that I've talked to say it's safe, but every time I read the newspaper or the monthly lakeside review for the English speakers, I find articles like, "Travel Safety Tips for Women" and "The Fear of Rape Must be Primal". Don't you feel all warm and fuzzy now?

One of the article talks about Mexico having a "macho culture" and understanding the general roles and behavioral codes for women. Fine, I understand I am not in America, but I get whistled at and called to when I go out by myself and I don't like it. And that creepy look, yep, I get that too. I think it's because I'm probably 1 of 2 American women under the age of 55 in the city, and the other one (I met her at brunch the other day) is already dating a native.

I don't consider myself completely gutless or naive - I've lived in Chicago and have had experiences and could tell stories that would make my mother cry, but this is different. I don't know, I just don't like it. And I don't feel safe here.

On a more brighter note, the weather could not be any more perfect!

. . .

Some of my upcoming posts will include:

- pictures of the house we are staying in (as requested)
- pictures of me (as requested)
- pictures of the market
- some great video footage of Zoe doing aerobics with me

Hugs and kisses to all of you...I miss you!